Valentines Jokes
"Mary`s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months.She stayed by his bedside every day. When he came to, he told her to come nearer.She sat by him and he said:
"You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When my business fell, you were there,when I got shot, you were by my side When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ...
I think you bring me bad luck!"
"A: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
B: Sure, they're very scent-imental! "
"A: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
B: Because it's all heart."
"A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged,man standing at the counter placing "Love" stamps on red envelopes with hearts all over them. Then hetakes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying all over them.
The boy goes up to the man and asks him what he is doing. The man says,
"I'm sending out 2,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
But why?" asks the boy.
I'm a divorce lawyer," the man said"
"What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?"
"A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a golden ring for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
You'll know tonight." he answered
That evening, the man came home with a small box and gave it to his wife. She opened it and find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
